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What If Every Movie Title Told You The Ending Like Lone Survivor?

6/5/2014

2 Comments

 
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      Lone Survivor came out on DVD this week.  It stars Mark Wahlberg in the true story of a Navy Seal and his team on a mission to capture a deadly Taliban leader only to be ambushed behind enemy lines. The team is left for the fight for their lives in one of the most valiant efforts of modern warfare.  Now I basically just ripped that right from the back of the DVD case.  I don't really give a shit about this movie but I bet I can tell you what happens.  How you say?  No I'm not some future telling wizard sorcerer.  Brace yourself.  I know because.....

THEY PUT THE FUCKING ENDING IN THE FUCKING TITLE.  

      Lone Survivor?!?! I wonder how many people are going to live. There's like five guys on that team I can count in the previews.  I can take a pretty accurate guess how many make it out. Maybe just Mark Wahlberg?  I'm guessing since he's on the cover of the poster, he might have a great shot at it.  Call me crazy but Ben Foster sure as hell isn't going to make it out! Sorry Ben, I hope you weren't counting on being in Lone Survivor 2.  

      So this got me thinking, what if other movies took the Lone Survivor approach;  giving away the ending or exposing major plot points in the title.  Let's see what it looks like....(REALLY OLD SPOILERS AFTER THE BREAK)
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2 Comments
Haley
6/6/2014 07:12:49 am

"With Marky Mark’s big mug on the poster, we’re left in little doubt that he will no longer be accompanied by the Funky Bunch when the credits roll." http://www.empireonline.com/features/when-movie-titles-spoil-the-film

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Haley
6/6/2014 07:13:49 am

Also, 'Murica!

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