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Las Vegas Boxing Commission Under Investigation After Dangerously Undersized Boxer, Little Mac, Dies in Ring.

2/13/2021

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      Luca Di Maciano, known in the boxing world as Little Mac, died in the ring Saturday night during his match against Piston Honda for the heavyweight championship.  The Las Vegas Boxing Commission is now currently under investigation to discover how a match like this, with a weight class discrepancy of fourteen divisions, was ever allowed to be sanctioned.  The champion Piston Honda came in over two feet taller and 86 pounds heavier than his challenger.  Even with the setting on easy, this far exceeds the legal fight parameters. 

      After multiple knockdowns in the first two rounds from what appeared to be exclusively only headshots from Honda, Little Mac took another barrage of jabs to open the third round only to be knocked down again.   He fell below the sight line of the television camera and did not get up again, no matter how many buttons were mashed. 
     
       "We thought if we told Little Mac every single 'tell' to look for in order to beat Piston it would be ok,"  said William Edmonds, part of the commission who signed off on this fight.  "We said listen, Piston is going to raise his eyebrows every time he throws a jab.  He crouches down super low to throw an uppercut.  Sometimes he will back up for unknown reasons and come charging at you with punches.  We told Mac to just duck and counter. Duck and counter.  And if you did it right a star would magically appear above his head and then you could hit him with an uppercut.  But I guess that wasn't enough."

      "It was a horrifying sight," said guest ring commentator Donkey Kong. "Honda was just so much bigger.  His gloves were the size of Little Mac's head.  Mac had to literally jump to try and hit Honda.  At one point, he got to beating him so bad that Little Mac's whole body turned a pale, almost translucent pink color.  Normal bodies just don't look like that."
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      Many are also placing the blame at the inexperience of former plumber, turned amateur referee, Mario Brother and Little Mac's corner man, Doc Louis, for not stopping the fight when it became obvious that Little Mac could no longer protect himself.

      "The whole arena was screaming at these guys to stop the fight," said one spectator. "This guy was literally getting killed in the ring and Mario just kept staring like he was tripping on mushrooms or something.  And I watched that Doc Louis after each round thinking he would do the right thing and throw in the towel.  All he did was rub Little Mac's arm up and down and say things like 'Join the Nintendo Fun Club Today.' "

       While the match is still  under investigation, Mario has been suspended indefinitely without pay.  Doc Louis was last seen speeding away on his 10-speed bike after the fight.  Local law enforcement are currently  searching his whereabouts for questioning. 

      A Little Mac Memorial Fun Run has been organized to help pay for funeral expenses including any other future boxing tragedies that may arise or when Glass Joe fights next.​
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