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Softball Game Between Feuding Mob Families Doesn't End in Violence.

4/2/2014

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      Exploding softballs.  Exploding Bases.  Poisoned Gatorade.  Death by cleats. Joe Pesci at the end Goodfellas. Joe Pesci at the end of Casino. Joe Pesci throughout Home Alone.  These are just a few of the violent acts that has plagued the Marcello/Santorelli annual slow pitch softball game over the years.  The two powerful mob families have been feuding for over half a century now with heavy casualties and bloodshed on both sides.  This past weekend marked the 16th annual game between the two and for the first time ever, it ended peacefully to the surprise of all. The Marcello family narrowly edged out a victory, 8 - 7. Don "Dime Nipples" Gambino had the game winning hit bringing home Benny "Who Told You to Put the Balm On" Benzito in the bottom of the 9th.

      The history of the annual softball game has been a violent one right from the beginning. Frankie “Fudge Fingers” Marcello originally came up with the idea as a way to stop the feuding and bring the two sides together.  He said he wanted to put an end to the violence and "bury the hatchet between our two great families."  It turned out it was just a ploy to literally bury a hatchet in Jimmy "Two Flush” Santorelli's forehead.  The first game only made it to the 2nd inning before all parties involved were wounded or dead.  Although custom team t-shirts were made each time, the next few years of games didn't even make it through the first pitch.  Why keep doing it then?  "We love tradition," said one family member.  "And the moms bring Capri Sun and orange slices for us to enjoy after."

      Spectators watching this weekend's game said it was the most boring game of all the sixteen years played.  This only proves what I've been saying for a long time.  Watching recreational softball is dreadful unless there's a chance for brutal violence.  The families will meet again this May when they play in their 7th Annual Badminton Tournament.  


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