Most of you know about the competition between Samsung and Apple in the electronics world. What you probably don’t know is how far back this rivalry and downright hatred between the two sides go. It all started back in 1477 when the Samsung and Apple families were neighboring farms in the sleepy English town of Bedfordshire. It is not known exactly who started this war but folklore says it started when Thaddius Samsung, head of the Samsung farm, took three cows from the Apple farm on a routine roundup of his own herd. Was this act of cow larson done on purpose or simply a mistake in herding? We may never know.
Unfortunately, Walter Apple, head of the Apple farm, took it as no mistake. He knew how jealous Thaddius was of his farm and his very large breasted wife, Siri. So Walter snuck into the Samsung's barn and desecrated a whole month's worth of harvested corn. Thaddius was furious, feeling this retaliation was above and beyond what was deemed appropriate. He was quoted saying to his very flat chested wife, Galaxy, that “Shit just got real.” So one night while Walter was away, Thaddius went over to the Apple farm and proceeded to kill Walter’s three sons iPod, iPad and iPhone. Then he placed their heads on pikes on the border of his property and fed their torsos to his pigs. It was agreed by most villagers in the town that shit did indeed just get real. Thus began over 500 years of war and bloodshed between the two families. An interesting and and highly ignored fact is much of the Civil War was a battle between the Samsung and Apple families from the north and the south.
Only recently have the two sides calmed their quarrels and marginalized their feuding into electronics. Many believe it is only a matter of time though before the hatred boils over and the streets will once again flow with the blood of the innocent. The late General Stanley Samsung once said "War is hell." Then he looked to the sky, raised his fist and said it much slower "War...is...hell." And the dramatic effect was felt by all around him.
Unfortunately, Walter Apple, head of the Apple farm, took it as no mistake. He knew how jealous Thaddius was of his farm and his very large breasted wife, Siri. So Walter snuck into the Samsung's barn and desecrated a whole month's worth of harvested corn. Thaddius was furious, feeling this retaliation was above and beyond what was deemed appropriate. He was quoted saying to his very flat chested wife, Galaxy, that “Shit just got real.” So one night while Walter was away, Thaddius went over to the Apple farm and proceeded to kill Walter’s three sons iPod, iPad and iPhone. Then he placed their heads on pikes on the border of his property and fed their torsos to his pigs. It was agreed by most villagers in the town that shit did indeed just get real. Thus began over 500 years of war and bloodshed between the two families. An interesting and and highly ignored fact is much of the Civil War was a battle between the Samsung and Apple families from the north and the south.
Only recently have the two sides calmed their quarrels and marginalized their feuding into electronics. Many believe it is only a matter of time though before the hatred boils over and the streets will once again flow with the blood of the innocent. The late General Stanley Samsung once said "War is hell." Then he looked to the sky, raised his fist and said it much slower "War...is...hell." And the dramatic effect was felt by all around him.
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