An impromptu Roadsodie company picnic was ruined last week when Sharon decided to bring fudge made with Velveeta cheese. The picnic was planned in preparation for a rare 70 degree Tuesday in February. An email was sent company wide the day before inviting all to bring a dish and meet out in the front lawn of Roadsodie headquarters.
The entire staff showed up with smiles on their faces and cheer in their heart. Nancy brought a delicious layered taco dip. Jonas brought some of his famous home brewed German style pilsner. Even Darcy, the office crank from accounting, brought a wonderful batch of home made lady fingers. Then Sharon showed up with fudge.
"Oooo fudge. I love fudge," could be heard from many spread out among the lawn.
But this fudge held a brooding, evil secret lurking beneath its cocoa surface. A processed, brick shaped, yellow secret. An abomination to everything natural and holy. Velveeta cheese.
After biting into this "fudge" and expecting that sweet, smooth chocolate flavor, many wretched in horror as their taste buds were attacked by the fowl, unnatural tang of deceit and lies. In an attempt to mask any awkwardness, many of the staff resorted to using the old 'fake mouth wipe but actually spitting into the napkin' approach.
Soon after this evil treat slithered its way through the picnic, many employees starting making up excuses to leave. Some said they had to pick up the kids from school. Some said they had a doctors appointments. Some even claimed they had to get back to work. Needless to say the picnic was ruined.
"I can't technically fire her for being a culinary nightmare," said Roadsodie CEO Nick Moran. "But if I could, she would be out on her ass before a drop of that yellow melted horror ever touched a pan of fudge again."
Picnics have been suspended indefinitely at Roadsodie for the foreseeable future.
The entire staff showed up with smiles on their faces and cheer in their heart. Nancy brought a delicious layered taco dip. Jonas brought some of his famous home brewed German style pilsner. Even Darcy, the office crank from accounting, brought a wonderful batch of home made lady fingers. Then Sharon showed up with fudge.
"Oooo fudge. I love fudge," could be heard from many spread out among the lawn.
But this fudge held a brooding, evil secret lurking beneath its cocoa surface. A processed, brick shaped, yellow secret. An abomination to everything natural and holy. Velveeta cheese.
After biting into this "fudge" and expecting that sweet, smooth chocolate flavor, many wretched in horror as their taste buds were attacked by the fowl, unnatural tang of deceit and lies. In an attempt to mask any awkwardness, many of the staff resorted to using the old 'fake mouth wipe but actually spitting into the napkin' approach.
Soon after this evil treat slithered its way through the picnic, many employees starting making up excuses to leave. Some said they had to pick up the kids from school. Some said they had a doctors appointments. Some even claimed they had to get back to work. Needless to say the picnic was ruined.
"I can't technically fire her for being a culinary nightmare," said Roadsodie CEO Nick Moran. "But if I could, she would be out on her ass before a drop of that yellow melted horror ever touched a pan of fudge again."
Picnics have been suspended indefinitely at Roadsodie for the foreseeable future.