Todd Deright, 42, screamed at his TV from his Pennsylvania home during an episode of Jeopardy Tuesday afternoon.  His anger stemming from all three contestants seemingly avoiding the 'Sports' category on the board during the Double Jeopardy round.

      Todd, sitting in his Jerome Bettis Pittsburg Steelers jersey, was pleading with the contestants to pick the 'Sports' category.  Instead all the contestants seamlessly worked through all five other categories on the board which included Shakespeare, Potpourri, Foreign Colleges and Universities, Books In German, and World Geography.

       "Sure you idiots know Othello went to fight the Turks in Cyprus but you don't know anything about The Malice in the Palace between the Pacers and Pistons," said the increasingly enraged sports fan.  "So what if  Atacama is South America's most arid desert region located in Northern Chile.  I bet you didn't know Marcus Allen won Super Bowl MVP in 1984 and then went on to win regular season MVP the next year."

      Things went from bad to worse for Todd when time ran out before the contestants could get to the Sports category.  "If you didn't spend five minutes in the interview portion talking about how your stupid hike up Mount Kilimanjaro changed your life, we could have gotten to sports."

​      Fortunately for Todd, the Final Jeopardy category that day was Pittsburg Penguin Stanley Cup Wins.  Unfortunately he had already changed the channel to Cash Cab.

      .

      "He grew up in the 90's," Susan Metcalf said of her husband Joel.​ "I figured when we started dating there would be some post grunge, alt rock baggage but I never thought it would be this bad."

      "All he talks about is Gavin.  Gavin this, Gavin that.  Did you see Gavin's latest post on Instagram? Here's why Razorblade Suitcase is such a great album.  Can we break down 'Everything Zen' lyrics?  Let's watch Constantine again. Blah, blah blah. It's infuriating.  What is a Machinehead anyway?  No one knows.  It sounds like mushmouth bullshit to me."
       
       Susan said their relationship didn't start like this.  They dated for a couple years and Joel would tell her about all kinds of bands he loved.  Bush being just one of the many listed. 

      "He hid his love of Bush, mostly his love of Gavin pretty well at first," she explained.  "I only knew a few songs and he really didn't play much of them when we were dating. He would say things like, when I saw Bush back in 98, Gavin did this or they played that.  I thought, oh this guy just loves live music.  Little did I know it was the ninth time he saw Bush in 98. In the front row.  With a handmade sign. A...handmade....sign."

        Fangirling aside, Susan and Joel fell deeply in love.  He ended up proposing  in a beautiful little park in London.  It was one of the happiest days in Susan's life.  She didn't know it at the time but it was the same spot Gavin proposed to Gwen Stefani.

        "I didn't find out about that one until we had been married a few years," she said.  "I guess I should have figured it out though. When he was down on one knee he told me he didn't want to come back down from this cloud."

        "Oh come on.  I don't love Gavin that much," Joel said when asked about his obsession.  "I just don't let the days go by.  Sure,  I could have been easier on you.  I couldn't change though I wanted to.  And yes, it should have been easier by three but it's just our old friend fear and you and me..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................glycerine."

        Let me start by saying Huey Lewis and the News are a goddamn national treasure.  Nic Cage should have been trying to steal the original pressing of the album Sports and not the Declaration of Independence kind of national treasure.  Now HLN can typically be described as a safe and wholesome form of entertainment.  Most of their songs talk about rock n' roll, breakups and heartaches, love and the power of. But there's one song, that's a little different.  One song that's been sitting right under our noses for over 30 years and most of you didn't even realize it.

         On the 1986 album Fore! there's a song called "Whole Lotta Lovin."   In typical HLN fashion, this song is catchy as fuck.  Catchy fucking hook.  Catchy fucking rhythm.  Huey fucking killing that vocal track.  The News doing what they do best.  Fucking grooving their asses off.   Also great fucking lyrics about.....being sex deprived and raging hard ons:

I'm tired of these girlie magazines
I want to stop dreamin', and get back home to the real thing
Late last night I read the letter you sent
Woke up this morning, under a tent

       It's pretty self explanatory but you're here so let's break it down shall we? Huey's out on the road rocking concert venues from DC, San Antone and the Liberty Town, Boston and Baton Rouge, Tulsa, Austin, Oklahoma City, Seattle, San Francisco too.  But he's lonely.  He's on that tour bus and he's missing his girl back home.  Now it's the 1980's.  How would one alleviate that loneliness before the Internet?  Get those girlie magazines of course. But those girlie magazines will only go so far.  You gotta get back to the real thing at some point.

​      Now one night Huey's on the tour bus with his magazines and some filthy letter his girl sent him and he's preparing to play his own personal one man show.  Then Johnny (owwwww!) interrupts him with some dumb saxophone question that could have waited until the morning. The moment is ruined.  So Huey just goes to sleep.  He's got the girlie magazines racing in his head and he's got a girl back home he hasn't had sex with all tour long.   That's a perfect recipe to wake up under the preverbal tent.

       Now if you are worried about if Huey will ever score again, no need to fret.  The song does have a happy ending for lack of a better term.  In the third verse after a fucking blistering harmonica solo by Huey (typical), he lets us know there is a light at the end of this lonely masturbation tunnel.  

Everybody else is holding hands
I'm here lonely, playing around with my microphone stand
But I'm coming home, only one more week
The first three days we won't get no sleep

      One more week of that lonely microphone stand then it's finally home to see his girl and to celebrate with some gourmet meals, some fine wine and three days of straight fucking.  Like I said,  Huey Lewis and the News.  Goddamn national treasure.