In a surprising turn of events Tuesday morning, the Chicago Cubs have announced that they will retire the franchise if they win the World Series this year. Cubs President Theo Epstein and owner Tom Ricketts told a room of reporters that it's probably best to stop when you're ahead and just go out on top.
"We don't know if this will ever happen again," Epstein said. "It's been 108 years since the last one. What if we win this year and it's another 108 years until the next one? I'd be like 150 years old. Even with the right diet and exercise and all the advancements in modern medicine, I don't think I would make it. I know for sure Tom won't be around. He's a steak and potatoes guy. I've never seen this son of a bitch eat a green since I've known him. So I mean, I really just think it will be better to win it this year and then retire the franchise completely."
The young core of Cubs players like Rizzo, Bryant, and Baez expressed deep concerns about this newly laid out plan of action. Being in the prime of their career, they feel like they could win multiple championships with the team they have. Ricketts laughed this off as the blissful optimism of youth and said he would urge them to be more like David Ross who's "gettin' out while the gettin's good."
"Just think about this for a minute," Ricketts said. "If the Chicago Bears would have just hung it up after the 1985 Super Bowl win, they would have been champions forever. No more bad seasons. No more heartache. And more importantly, Jay Cutler would have never worn a Bears jersey. Can you imagine? A world where Jay Cutler never stepped foot in the Windy City. What a glorious and magical time to be alive that would have been."
Official plans have not yet been put into place about what would become of Wrigley Field if the Cubs were to retire. There are speculations of turning it into an immaculate museum full of state of the art displays, interactive exhibits and never before seen memorabilia thus preserving and honoring the rich history of the Chicago Cubs. It also might become an IKEA.
"We don't know if this will ever happen again," Epstein said. "It's been 108 years since the last one. What if we win this year and it's another 108 years until the next one? I'd be like 150 years old. Even with the right diet and exercise and all the advancements in modern medicine, I don't think I would make it. I know for sure Tom won't be around. He's a steak and potatoes guy. I've never seen this son of a bitch eat a green since I've known him. So I mean, I really just think it will be better to win it this year and then retire the franchise completely."
The young core of Cubs players like Rizzo, Bryant, and Baez expressed deep concerns about this newly laid out plan of action. Being in the prime of their career, they feel like they could win multiple championships with the team they have. Ricketts laughed this off as the blissful optimism of youth and said he would urge them to be more like David Ross who's "gettin' out while the gettin's good."
"Just think about this for a minute," Ricketts said. "If the Chicago Bears would have just hung it up after the 1985 Super Bowl win, they would have been champions forever. No more bad seasons. No more heartache. And more importantly, Jay Cutler would have never worn a Bears jersey. Can you imagine? A world where Jay Cutler never stepped foot in the Windy City. What a glorious and magical time to be alive that would have been."
Official plans have not yet been put into place about what would become of Wrigley Field if the Cubs were to retire. There are speculations of turning it into an immaculate museum full of state of the art displays, interactive exhibits and never before seen memorabilia thus preserving and honoring the rich history of the Chicago Cubs. It also might become an IKEA.
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