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Joe Buck Accepts Clayton Kershaw as His Lord and Savior

10/17/2016

42 Comments

 
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      "For whosoever shall call upon the name of Kershaw shall be saved."  - Romans 10:13​
         After years of preaching His fellowship, Joe Buck has accepted Clayton Kershaw as his personal Lord and Savior.  Buck was baptized yesterday morning in a small section of the Los Angeles river wearing a full Dodgers uniform, as is customary for baptisms into the Church of Kershaw. Buck said he has opened his heart and soul to the Great One and looks forward to spending eternity in the Kingdom of Kershaw watching Him throw fast balls and off speed pitches to the Angels above.
         
      "I've been washed in the blood of Clayton Kershaw today," Buck said as he clasped his hands and bowed his head.  "I've followed his Holy Spirit and preached His gospel for years to millions of people who didn't ask and didn't want to hear about it.  But the time for repentance is upon us my brothers and sisters.  The time is nigh I tell you.  He has been placed on this Earth to save anyone who accepts Him into their hearts and to strike out the side."

      Followers of the Church believe any and all good that happens in baseball is due only to grace and glory of Clayton Kershaw and what He does from the mound or pulpit as His believers call it.  The church has only a few simple commandments: 

1.  Honor thy father and thy mother.

2.  Don't hang thy curveball over the center of the plate on a full count.

3.  Never stop talking about Clayton Kershaw during all aspects of thy game.

      Buck has been practicing these commandments for every Dodgers game he has been in the broadcast booth for and plans to continue his ways until, Kershaw forbid, he retires from baseball.

      "How could you not talk about His Grace for nine innings," Buck said crossing himself in the shape of home plate.  "I could go on for days about what a dominant force He is.  And when someone gets a hit off of Him, I praise His wisdom for letting that batter on base. If He's not pitching that day, I praise Him about what He did the last game or how He would have handled it if He was in the game.  Glory be to Kershaw in the highest Heaven and on Earth, a one hit, complete game shut out. Amen."

42 Comments
Frank
10/21/2016 04:24:47 am

Brilliant idea, brilliantly written. This pretty much sums up how most of us feel about Joe *uck! I only wish I would have come up with it!

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Matt
10/21/2016 09:33:27 am

Week said frank!

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Peter
10/21/2016 01:04:05 pm

Agree 100%.

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Chris Davis
10/21/2016 02:49:05 pm

👍 Right on Frank, could not agree more.

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Nancy link
10/21/2016 08:04:38 am

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Jaclyn Clark
10/21/2016 10:09:42 am

Omg, this is so hilarious Frank. I really hope Mr. Buck reads this and realizes how bad it looks for Cub fans. I really hope the Cubs light him up on Saturday so Buck can weep and shut up about what A GOD HE IS. Don't get me wrong, he is a very good pitcher but to non stop talking about him when he's not even playing is just insane! Kudos to you my friend in this epic post.

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Lori
10/21/2016 04:34:54 pm

I'm so glad you feel this way!! I thought it was just me!!!

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tim voss
10/23/2016 03:51:20 pm

I couldn't agree with you more. buck is wildly enamored with Kershaw(whom the cubs lit up sat. eve to the tune of 5-0. GO CUBBIES)!!!

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Nichole
10/21/2016 10:41:58 am

We love when Joe Buck commentates!

-Said NO Cub fan ever.

Let's light up Kershaw and make Joe crawl back up His losing ass!

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Tom
10/21/2016 12:38:46 pm

Regardless of the intent, it's blasphemous.

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Brian
10/21/2016 01:22:09 pm

Lighten up Francis.

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Kathy
10/21/2016 11:00:03 pm

Totally agree Tom!

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Roxanne
10/22/2016 07:33:39 am

Totally agree, Tom! This is offensive and ridiculous.

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Mr. Wrigley
10/22/2016 12:41:11 pm

Amen!!!

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Mr me
10/23/2016 11:48:24 am

Blaspheme my ass...

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tim voss
10/23/2016 10:34:42 pm

no thanks.......

Dan Warner
10/21/2016 12:53:03 pm

He's been slobbering on Javier Baez's knob the whole series too, you would think the kid is the best player in the game & I'm not a Cubs or Dodger's fan.

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Eric
10/21/2016 09:58:07 pm

Finally, a voice of reason. Baez has been great and probably over praised. But bc they've slightly favored Kershaw(best pitcher in baseball for 4 years) cub fans feel slighted.

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tim voss
10/23/2016 10:36:48 pm

SLIGHTED- NAUSEATED IS MORE LKE IT!!!

Chris Davis
10/21/2016 02:20:46 pm

Buck's gotta have chosen Savior. He slobbered for years in worship to Jeter, who like Kershaw - cherished himself more than enough. John Smoltz is Buck's ideal partner - they don't even attempt to hide they're rooting for the Dodgers. Smoltz talking up Dodgers pitcher's 4 seam fastball "I wish he'd throw it more to the Cubs"
Unreal! What a douche!
Joe Buck was gifted a lucrative career with zero talent cause his dad was one of the best ever, he chose to be arrogant instead of thankful about it. I tried Cubs radio first game but it's 2 pitches ahead of T.V. - Cubs fan for all my 57 years, watching best Cubs team ever - on mute to avoid either throwing up or putting my fist deep in T.V. trying to reach their noses.

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Gina
10/21/2016 04:01:14 pm

Hilarious! Joe Buck is an idiot, like Chris I was angry and tried the radio but ran into same predicament. I stopped muting the TV though because now it's just funny listening to the words that come out of his mouth. Personally, I'd rather put my fist deep in Joe Bucks face than destroy my TV, though I'm pretty sure I would need to wait in line.

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Jim
10/21/2016 05:14:03 pm

His father is turning on his grave.

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Darrel
10/21/2016 05:53:08 pm

Well Done! I am a 61 y/o 3rd Generation, Die-Hard Cubs fan, unfortunately having lived almost half my life in the Metro-East (IL) St. Louis Area. Joe's dad, Jack was a LEGITIMATE great broadcaster; lifelong KMOX Cardinals' broadcaster. Joe - yes go the BIG break because of his lineage; went National, and has become a TOTAL TURD! Many of the St. Louis sports fans don't even like him! They like Costas (also a St. Louis product) MUCH more! As for having to be held HOSTAGE this post-season to FS1 and Buck and Smoltz...Good Grief! You would think they would be TOLD to be NEUTRAL...But Noooooo! My God, Buck has his nose so far up Kershaw's ass! I am SO sick and tired of Joe Buck letting his St. Louis, Hate ANYTHING about Chicago taint his National broadcasts! Smoltz has been a bit better, BUT Joe Buck is a TOTAL A-Hole! I am SERIOUSLY hoping my Cubs put a hurt on the Savior, Clayton tomorrow night at The Friendly Confines in Game 6; chase his ass off the mound early, and then listen to Buck make excuses! Oh, BTW - the Cubs have their OTHER Cy Young contending starter, Kyle Hendricks on the bump! Coupled with the Cubs resurrected offense and intensity, I LIKE our Chances in Game 6! Baez is about the only player on the Cubs that Buck and Smoltz have been goo-gooing over. Buck's laughing and enjoying Heyward's struggles after he gave the "Dead Birds" the finger and left STL! You would think Hendricks was a can of Spam if you listen to Buck! Fed up with the biased broadcasting we have to be subjected to on FOX Sports AND, oh BTW - Stupid ESPN!!! GO Cubs! #FlytheW #ThisYearisNextYear

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John
10/21/2016 07:41:05 pm

Joe knows nothing about the game. He mouths whatever the guys in the truck tell him what to say. He substitutes soap opera drama for analysis. I entertain myself by coun th ingredients the number of times he says a full sentence without a number in it. Try it, it takes your mind off his arrogance.

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Eric
10/21/2016 07:35:15 pm

If Joe Buck wasn't from STL, alol these cub fans wouldn't be crying here.Kershaw has been the best pitcher in baseball for a few years. Lester got plenty of praise from Joe when it was time for him to pitch. I think we can probably all agree that JB is a tad annoying at times but Cmon! The Cubs have been media darlings since April! JB might have had an advantage getting into broadcasting bc of his dad but his dad hasn't KEPT his job for all these years. So Cub fans maybe worry about your team and stop acting so entitled to everything?

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Rosie
10/21/2016 08:58:17 pm

Hey Cardinal Fan!! Who would u like to see win the series?????

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Eric
10/21/2016 09:47:53 pm

Definitely NOT the Cubs! But when the cards had to face the Dodgers in 2013 and all they talked about was Kershaw, I didn't whine! I rooted for my team to beat Kershaw and they did 😆

Jim
10/24/2016 08:55:53 am

Of course you whined ... you're a Cardinals fan?

tony
10/23/2016 04:11:43 pm

Well said

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tim voss
10/23/2016 10:41:37 pm

we don't have too much to worry about, do we?

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Eric
10/23/2016 10:52:12 pm

Oh I'm sorry have the Cubs already won the WS? I can't wait to see the article after Joe Buck and Smoltz talk about Kluber lol

Mitchell
10/21/2016 09:49:15 pm

Mitchell................. Mitchell................... Mitchell

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Harold
10/22/2016 05:47:41 am

I have been constantly posting on Twitter @FS1 about how horribleBuck and Smoltz have been, I really think Bucks addiction to hairplugs drove jim over the edge. His frames for glasses well tjey are some kinda special, what bothered me most was how he was fawning over Kershs tank top for his shadow pitching session, I thought Joe already had a partner in life?

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Chris Davis
10/22/2016 06:44:02 am

2013 is over Eric! It's obvious the only reason you posted here was to disrespect and insult Cub fans - you've got no horse in this race and have zero love for either of these teams, but you just gotta slam the Cubs and their fans every chance you get don't you? Mind-blowing how you left feeling good and like you rose above the Cub fans by bringing up something that happened 3 years ago! Unbelievable almost - but only typical for a sparrow fan. Has anyone ever told you the Cubs haven't even been in World Series since 1945? Yet you wanna act like we shouldn't be cheering or having any opinion about announcers etc. You think we should sit quietly and be happy about it - cause Cubs were media darlings all season - only because they led the entire season, won more games than anyone else and were exciting as well as very good. National level announcers #1 standard is to be neutral - been that way since inception - no matter who they favor in their heart or head...of course that requires being professional, which Buck nor Smoltz will ever be! You no doubt misremember the facts also, I'm 57, many of my friends and family are lifelong Cardinal fans - there's not one of those alive who've ever sit back quietly without complaint, bitch, brag and general loud, obnoxious and arrogant chirping that dies to below whisper level when they aren't winning.

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Scot
10/22/2016 07:01:05 am

Fire joe buck

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Ron
10/22/2016 07:04:17 am

Tonight Kershaw dies for Joe Buck's sins.

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Eric
10/22/2016 07:36:33 am

I rose above cub fans in 03 bud when they villianized one of their own. You'd never see that in STL. So shut up, stop whining and act like you've been there before. You don't need JB approval. However, listen to an interview that JB did with Dan Lebetard about 3 months ago. All it talks about is how he d be honored to be in the booth if the cubs ever made, and so would've his father.

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Jbd
10/22/2016 04:30:21 pm

Turn off this idiot and listen to Cubs radio

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Eric
10/24/2016 07:25:02 pm

good one Jim! I might whine towards my team bc I'm used to them winning but I certainly don't whine about fans, goats and broadcasters.

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Bill
10/26/2016 09:31:11 pm

The only good thing about the Fox broadcast of the world series with Buck is that the delay isn't as long as the playoffs so that it's easier to listen to Pat Hughes doing the Cubs broadcast with Ron Coomer on WGN. The Fox broadcast made me ill for it's one sidedness. The Cubs radio broadcast is completely professional as Hughes and Coomer respect good play from both sides and actually know what they are talking about rather than presenting seminars on spin counts of pitches. What nonsense! The fair and balanced reporting of Fox is neither whether it's politics or baseball. What did we expect? Joe Buck is not a good play by play guy. He's a cheer leader and a hack.

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curtis in marshalltown
1/31/2017 04:43:25 am

still funny
and they still singing gcg

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Ethan link
4/5/2019 07:54:51 pm

lol at the baseball reference.

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