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NCAA March Madness Derogatory to Crazy People?

3/20/2014

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      The Association for the Crazy, Insane, and Demented People of the United States of America and Beyond or the A.C.I.D.P.U.S.A.B are calling for a country wide boycott of college basketball’s NCAA tournament.  They are claiming that calling it March Madness, to which it is often referred as, is discriminating and demeaning to people who are actually considered insane or crazy. Elaine Burnett, the head of the A.C.I.D.P.U.S.A.B, said they are done being silent and it's time to throw a water fountain through the window of this issue.  She said the inspiration to finally go public came from the recent outcry to change team names and images that cast Native Americans in derogatory ways like that of the Washington Redskins.

      "College basketball is just the beginning," Burnett said. "Mad Men, Mad Magazine, Mad About You, Mad Max.  We're coming for them next and we won't stop until this country realizes the stigma of that word."  When asked what people should use instead of mad, she said "Mentally Dissimilar", "Cray Cray" or just make that whistling sound and circle your finger around your ear.

      Picketers have already gathered at every arena of the tournament and are growing daily.  When they aren't sitting on the ground rocking back and forth or curled up in the fetal position, they are holding signs and speaking with anyone who will listen.  Many signs seem to be written by mentally dissimilar people though.  “Mashed Potato Curtain Rods”, “Walt Disney's Spirit Speaks Through My Pinky Toe”, “My Fourth Personality is a Whore. No I’m not. Yes you are” and multiple ones with a weird brown substance smeared across them are just a few examples. In the south region of the tournament, chants of "Attica" rang outside the arena throughout the day.  While in the Midwest region a surprisingly melodic and harmonized version of "We Are The World," was sung over and over.  

      NCAA representatives had no comment at first but then immediately turned around and said “This is the dumbest fucking thing we've ever heard.” The NCAA tournament officially kicked off on Tuesday and will conclude with the championship game on April 7th.

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